When my mom was growing up, my grandparents would pull off the clown car illusion of stuffing every neighborhood kid into their car to go get an ice cream cone every Friday night. There were days when my grandparents had only a couple dollars in their pockets, yet, they never turned anyone down. They didn’t deny little Timmy down the street an ice cream, rather, they found a way to pay for him. This concept was routinely found throughout the book, “You are a Badass at Making Money” which I sat down to read and thoroughly enjoyed.
I started to read this book because I realized that I have yet to tap into my full financial potential. Growing up in a middle class neighborhood, I am quite used to the “live-below-your-means” philosophy and I think it gave me at least some sense of good financial discipline. If my parents are any indication, it works great. Just like my grandparents, my mom and dad would always find a way to pay for our lifestyle.
My sister was a dancer up until college and holy heck those costumes are not cheap. I was a tri-athlete playing field hockey, lacrosse and softball and my brothers were the gamers who always had the latest and greatest technology gifted to them every Christmas. We even got Dairy Queen every Friday night during the summer (a love for ice cream must run in the family). I really cannot think of a time when I felt like money was ever an issue and can confidently say that I had the best childhood thanks to my parents.
Naturally, however, I started to become more aware of situations as I got older. Now I understand why we went to the dreaded Reebok outlet as a kid rather than get a cool pair of Nikes, why Abercrombie was the bain of my mom’s existence, and why she would croak every time I went over my minutes on my pay-as-you-go cellphone. I started to pay attention to my parents’ qualms and I feel like I’ve almost inherited their viewpoints because it’s all I really know.
Out of my parents, my mom has probably had the largest impact on my financial tendencies. Her favorite saying when it comes to money is, “I never had money growing up so I’m just never going to have it.” I never realized it but because I heard this saying so often, and still do to this day, I gradually accepted it as my own reality. Tale as old as time – if you hear the same thing over and over again, you’re eventually going to start to believe it yourself. Because of this, I have had a similar mindset of “I don’t need a lot of money” instilled in me. My family was never rich and, yet, I’ve lived such a happy life! So who needs money?!
It wasn’t until I was reading this book that I realized how wrong this financial acceptance was. Author Jen Sincero writes, “I see it over and over, the kicking and screaming about how, at the end of the day, what’s most important is spending time with those you love, gazing at sunsets… and other things money can’t buy, and I won’t argue, but I will ask this: Why the hell does this come up when we discuss making money? When did it become an either/or situation?”
At this point, I had a lightbulb go off. Flashbacks of previous conversations with my boyfriend about money replayed in my head when I would just keep telling him, “I don’t need a lot of money. I have lived just fine without it.” And as these conversations flashed in my mind it hit me, Oh god, I sound like my mom.
Now don’t get me wrong, my mom is the most hard-working person I’ve ever met. She is a full-time teacher of 30+ years and is the head of any extra-curricular activity you can think of. She works her tail off to provide for her family and does well in life but the thought of money is always there. Money, to both of my parents, along with most people in general, is not looked at in a positive light. It’s evil, it’s all consuming, people that have money are snobs, etc. etc. Because I’ve been living in a house that sees money this way, I’ve learned to just accept that way of thinking.
At this point, I’m only 14 pages deep into this book having this epiphany I’m describing above. I’m starting to really question myself. Why aren’t I allowed to have a good relationship with money? Since when did money become gross? Why am I settling? Why am I accepting the thought that I cannot ever be rich?
To clarify, “rich” in this context does not solely mean having an endless supply of money. It means, “being able to afford all the things and experiences required to fully experience your most authentic life.” You can have your cake and eat it, too!
So why have I never allowed myself to be rich? Why did I think that I couldn’t experience happiness if I had focused largely on making money? Well, because I’ve never accepted that I can be more than what I’ve grown up with. I’ve always thought that I’ve been just fine in life and don’t need anything more to satisfy myself. Now, I’ve come to realize that I want to be more than just fine. I’m selling myself short if I remain complacent because I know the potential I have within me. So this is where I am at, totally inspired by my self-help book, fully accepting the challenge that is ahead and diving headfirst into the world of finance. Who’s ready to join me?!
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